I Miss You, I Hate This

August 15, 2022
A fictional pandemic places two Los Angeles high school seniors’ lives on hold in this timely novel by Saedi (Americanized: Rebel Without a Green Card). Iranian American Harvard hopeful Parisa and best friend Gabriela, a Mexican American artist, have always made as much time for each other as they could between extracurriculars and after-school jobs. But when a global virus forces them into quarantine, they find themselves spending their final year of high school stuck in their homes, unable to see each other before imminent adulthood separates them. As the girls adjust to their new normal, Parisa’s anxiety disorder worsens and Gabriela—who has always wondered about the extended family who cut themselves off from her mothers before her birth—feels more isolated than ever. Despite these stressors, the distance makes space for the teens’ tertiary relationships to flourish, including Gabriela’s long-simmering crush and Parisa’s slowly thawing dynamic with her older sister. Alternating perspectives interspersed with text messages and email threads, all rendered in realistic teen voices, chronicle their lives from the start of senior year to graduation, resulting in an emotionally layered novel that earnestly demonstrates how life continues moving forward. Ages 14–up. Agent:
Jessica Regel, Helm Literary.

October 1, 2022
Grades 9-12 Parisa and Gabriela are seniors and besties who are as different as can be. Parisa is a privileged Iranian American girl who suffers from anxiety. Gabriela, of Mexican American heritage, loves to create art and wishes her two moms didn't have to struggle with work and bills. The girls' senior year comes to an unexpected halt when Adema-22, a virus that primarily affects the young, becomes a global pandemic and shuts down society. The girls' friendship experiences ups and downs during their forced separation, during which they communicate through texts and video chats; both feel stretched to their limits when misunderstandings can't be resolved in person. Timely in its address of pandemic conditions, cautions, and attitudes, this is sure to resonate with teens who have grappled with anxiety, isolation, or ambivalence during COVID-19. Told in alternating points of view, the story is supportive of teens' complicated feelings and mental-health issues, while being realistic in its incorporation of the demands placed on essential workers versus those who are able to work from home.

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Starred review from December 23, 2022

Gr 9 Up-This is a unique twist on a pandemic story: the world is on the brink of a global pandemic, only this time it disproportionately affects teens. The story centers on a group of high school seniors, and is set in modern-day America, in an affluent school district near the San Francisco Bay area. Parisa is prone to panic attacks, and is living a life of privilege with indulgent parents who immigrated from Iran as children. Gabriela, who is not as well off, has two mothers who are definitely not indulgent; in fact, they are very strict with her. Her moms are first-generation Americans, disowned by their Catholic Mexican families for being gay. The difference in family incomes is just one of the things that quickly becomes apparent as the pandemic spreads and the best friends keep in touch virtually. Not everybody makes it through alive; others are left regretting the consequences of their actions. Fans of books such as Joseph Bruchac's Rez Dogs will like this twist on the pandemic and how it affects everything: friendship, romance, and the world at large. VERDICT A compelling read that will create a lot of discussion about the experience of living through and surviving a pandemic. -Deanna McDaniel

Copyright 2022 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

Starred review from August 15, 2022
Two best friends navigate life and love as the world teeters on the brink of disaster. Parisa Naficy--a well-off, Harvard-bound, Iranian American valedictorian--has a privileged life, but she's consumed by extreme anxiety that she unsuccessfully attempts to hide. Beautiful, cool Mexican American Gabriela Gonzales leads a financially precarious existence with her lesbian moms and is haunted by their pasts; both women are estranged from their families due to their sexuality. The girls balance parental and cultural expectations with their own dreams. Their unlikely friendship withstood years of high school drama, but when the fictional ademavirus becomes a global pandemic disproportionately affecting young people, life as they know it is put on indefinite hold. The isolation brings out the best and worst in people, forcing both girls to reexamine themselves, their relationships, and what they value most as they work toward a new normal. Saedi's sensitive, witty writing style, both personable and deeply personal, makes this work more than yet another Covid fictionalization. The narration includes text message and email threads, reflecting the breakdowns of time and communication experienced in lockdown. The heavy subject matter is masterfully handled, juxtaposing raw episodes of sickness, loss, grief, and strained bonds with heartwarming conversations and budding relationships that shine a welcome light of hope into the darkness of uncertainty. Memorable and beautifully vulnerable. (Fiction. 14-18)

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